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Online Dating Tips:
Low Effort, Low Return?
O
nline dating tips are of great interest to many guys these days because finding women online is a lot easier than finding and wooing women the "old-fashioned" way. And many shy guys who are clueless about women tend to be quite good at technology, so they're in their element.
There are a huge number of online dating sites (such as Yahoo Personals or Match.com) as well as the social networking sites (Facebook or MySpace are good examples) which can all be used to meet and network with women.
Online dating tips
for finding women
You've probably seen and maybe even tried them yourself. They can be a lot of fun and, if you've got some game, you can meet women and even get laid occasionally.
But as in most aspects of life, there are catches:
- Competition
- Jealousy
- Dishonesty
- Issues
- Privacy
- Availability
The first of our online dating tips is to understand the competitive aspect. It's much easier for you to find women online than approach women the traditional way, but millions of other guys have reached the same conclusion and they're competing against you for those women.
It's similar to online recruiting
The upside is that you can easily apply for tens of thousands of jobs but the downside is that each of those employers will be getting tens of thousands of résumés (rather than a few dozen as in "the good old days"). So it becomes harder rather than easier to stand out.
The second of our online dating tips is to factor in the likelihood of jealousy. Not only will it be easy for you to meet lots of new women online, it will also be easy for each woman to meet lots of new guys online. That means you're likely to be just one of several (or even several dozen) guys that "your" girl is chatting with or pledging her undying love to.
If you get jealous easily (i.e. you're human and still have a pulse), that can be very trying. Especially on sites where you can see that your intended partner is online and she isn't talking to you.
“… but that doesn't mean the women you interact with online will be equally forthcoming …”
Could you handle it? Many guys can't.
The third of our online dating tips is to factor in the likelihood of dishonesty. Your own profile may be mostly honest (other than omitting certain unfavorable details). But that doesn't mean the women you interact with online will be equally forthcoming.
Of all the women we've known who work the online dating and social networking sites, we have yet to see one where her profile was accurate. Most weren't even close. Rather, they presented the image of themselves that they wanted you to have (more desirable than the real one, of course).
In other words, just like a politician
Not a very comforting thought, is it?
The fourth of our online dating tips is to factor in what are delicately called "issues". The fact is, there are some very strange people out there. They can often be easy to spot in real-life but are much less obvious when online.
Did you ever cross the street to avoid someone you saw someone coming in your direction? If so, there was something about that person that creeped you out. You might not be able to articulate why but you felt it.
Online dating tips
for finding women
The normal (offline) dating process is better at spotting unbalanced people quickly. Online, it's a lot harder until things have progressed to meeting offline (and by then it can be quite risky).
But even setting aside the possibility of encountering seriously disturbed people online, there are also lots of posers. For example, some guys pretend to be women (out of boredom). And many people you meet online will be married but looking to stray for a quick adventure.
If you're just looking for a quick roll in the hay, that may not concern you. But if you're looking to find a girlfriend, it's a different story completely.
So adopt a healthy skepticism
toward what people tell you online
And if your gut feeling tells you that there's something odd about the person, don't ignore that premonition. You're apt to be correct.
The fifth of our online dating tips is to think about the privacy aspect. There is none. Anything you put online is likely to last a long time in one database or another. And if you meet an obsessive woman online, chances are that she'll save every word you send her. That can come back and bite you later (in court, for example), especially if you dump her unceremoniously.
“… women are drawn to guys who lead interesting lives …”
The sixth of our online dating tips is to understand the concept of "availability". If you're online all the time (and your personal settings show you as being online), that can backfire. Women are drawn to guys who lead interesting lives. And if you're online whenever she logs on, that creates an impression that you don't have an interesting life. Seeming too "available" will make you seem "undesirable".
Our best online dating advice is this: work the Internet if you like, but don't limit your potential by making it your sole outlet. As a way to kill time, it's great. As a way to arrange for an occasional hookup, it can be quite good for guys who are above average in looks. But as way to find the girl of your dreams for an enduring relationship, it's hasn't been valuable for most of the guys we've known.
Continue to our main Dating page for
more dating advice, online dating tips and other aspects of dating.
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