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Relationship Advice For Men: Women Needing Space
T
he topic of relationship advice for men is far too broad to cover in a single article, so let's focus on one particular aspect of relationships where most younger guys trip up: women "needing space".
When young couples first get together, things often go splendidly for the first few weeks. We call that "the honeymoon phase". But if they see each other quite often, it rarely takes more than a month or so before they have their first fight.
Relationship advice for men
who are too clingy
Often it will be about issues of "space". Women need some space from time to time in relationships and younger guys in particular often don't provide that space. Instead
- He'll hover around her
- He'll smother her
- If she goes into another room to read or putter around, he'll follow her in
- If she seems lost in thought, he'll ask repeatedly "What are you thinking about?
- If she seems unusually quiet, he'll ask repeatedly "What's wrong?
And it won't take her long to start feeling claustrophobic in the relationship at that point.
So why do younger guys often crowd their partner that way?
It's because of insecurity
- If she goes into another room, he'll start worrying about whether she no longer wants to be around him.
- If she seems lost in thought, he'll fear that she's thinking about some other guy, thinking about wanting to be somewhere else or thinking about how tired she is of being in this relationship.
- If she's unusually quiet, he'll fear that he inadvertently did something to upset her and he'll want desperately for her to tell him what it was (so that he can apologize profusely and promise never to do "it" again).
But because male insecurity is so unappealing to women, his efforts to quickly identify and then remedy every ripple in his relationship makes things worse rather than better.
“… relax
stop worrying
and stop micro-managing …”
However, as guys get older, more experienced and more confident, they learn to relax. They stop worrying as much. They stop trying to micro-manage their relationships. And they start getting better results.
And that's good relationship advice for men: relax
stop worrying
and stop micro-managing.
But what if there really is something to worry about? If there is, then hovering or smothering won't make things better. It will make them worse.
There are better ways to address relationship problems that can be fixed. And better ways of handling relationship problems that can't be fixed. So if she needs a bit of space now and then, give it to her.
Please continue to our main Relationships page if you're seeking
more relationship advice for men.
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